So here’s the deal.
I’ve been trapped in doors thanks to blizzards for the past two weeks.
I’ve eaten a bunch of terrible things the past two weeks.
It’s now 70 degrees and sunny outside and I want something fresh and spring-like.
Also it’s my brother-in-law’s birthday and he requested a fruit tart.
Since the farmer’s market isn’t carrying the items I want just yet I took a trip to Aldi. Have you ever been there? No? It’s the capital of all things generic but holy heck, they have the freshest fruits and vegetables at knock-down drag-out prices. I am addicted.
I purchased 2 packages of strawberries, a fresh pineapple the size of my daughter’s torso, kiwi, blueberries and blackberries and it took everything in me not to eat them fist over fist in the car on the way home. Thank the Lord Almighty that spring is around the corner. I need fresh fruits. Now.
Here’s my selection of fruits for the tart. The best part of a tart is that you can cover it in whatever fruit you prefer. I would have loved some fresh raspberries but they weren’t available. I’ll survive.
I also wanted to use two Clementine oranges to use in the glaze but my daughter stole one and in the end I opted not to use a glaze. Life’s rough sometimes. We’ll power on.
Before we dig into the delicousness of the fruit we must first labor away at the world’s tastiest and easiest crust. Flour, powdered sugar, salt, and toasted chopped almonds. Mix. Then pulse in 2 sticks of cold butter (cubed) and as much almond extract as you can stand.
Put on low until the dough comes together to resemble this. You’ll know it’s right because you’ll take the lid off and smell heaven. Sweet, buttery, almondy heaven.
Wrap the dough and chill in refrigerator for at least 1 hour. Aren’t those almond flecks perdy? I think they’re perdy.
Grab a tart pan with a removable bottom and butter the heck out of it. We need butter in all ridges on the edges and on the bottom.
Butter. Not cooking spray or margarine. Butter.
Press the chilled dough into the pan as evenly as possible so you don’t have well-done edges and a mushy center. No one likes a mushy center. Taylor Lautner did not become famous for a mushy center. Mushy centers are bad. Trust me.
Throw the crust in the oven for 30ish minutes. Aren’t you glad my directions are very precise? No one likes flimsy directions or mushy centers.
Whilst the tart crust firms up its mushy center prep your fruits. There are all kinds of fancy ways to decorate a tart. Since I can free-form as well as my three-year old I popped online searched Friut Tart images and copied a design that I liked. I suggest you do the same unless you want to be original and unique and all that weird stuff.
Here’s an interesting fact: If you use fresh blackberries in a cobbler there will be seeds in them and senior citizens will complain. If you use fake blackberries there will be no seeds and senior citizens will complain about the authenticity. Just a little something I’ve learned from working with seniors.
Ever made a blueberry buckle? I have a ton of blueberries left over and feel it might be time for a blueberry buckle recipe again. It’s like a blueberry muffin in the texture of brownies.
Slice this a little on the thick side if you use pineapple in your tart. You’ll want it sturdy like Taylor Lautner’s mid-section.
If that doesn’t make your mouth water you may need to check your pulse. Again, thicker slices. I wound up using about 5 kiwis and eating 1.5.
Let the baked crust cool completely. If you have any concerns put it in the freezer for a little while to make sure. Do not try to remove this dough from the pan while it is hot or the whole thing will crumble to pieces and then you’ll have to eat it off the cabinet piece by piece.
As an extra bit of stability I always leave the bottom of the tart pan attached to the crust even through serving. It’s your preference but as you can see here you can’t even tell there’s a bottom on there still.
P.S. Look how soft and buttery that crust browned. Drool.
I am a cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.
The above statement is true, except I hate pumpkin.
I didn’t have time to make a batch of curd. I apologize.
This curd is delicious tho. As is this curd.
Some tarts have baked in cream cheese filling but I wanted fruity. So there.
Now here’s the fun part- get your garnish on!
I am an arteest! Not really. I copied an arteest’s pattern. But that can be our little secret.. along with the pre-made curd and my apparent obsession with Taylor Lautner’s midsection.
To quote my brother-in-law. “I just got emotional over a tart… Damn pregnancy hormones.”
It’s okay to cry. It’s beautiful and tastes like spring. It’s really okay to cry.
I might…only because I was forced to leave the left-overs with the birthday boy.
Most tarts that are going to sit out at a bakery for a while are going to be glazed. Since I was craving something fresh I opted to leave the glaze off. If you are interested in glazing your tart melt a half cup of apricot preserves in a cup and mix with a little bit of water and brush it on. I say forget the glaze. It’s really sweet enough without it and the fruit can be the star of the show all by themselves.
Prep Time: 30 minutes endless minutes cutting fruit and 1 hour chilling dough.
Bake Time: 350 for 35 minutes
Serves: 6-8 adults
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1/3 cup almonds, chopped and toasted
2 sticks butter, unsalted, chilled and cubed
1/2 tspn salt
1 1/2 tspns almond extract
Combine all dry ingredients in food processor. Add diced butter and extract and pulse on low until smooth. Wrap dough in plastic wrap and refrigerate at least 1 hour.
Butter a tart pan, paying attention to the ridges. Press chilled dough evenly into the pan and up the sides. Bake at 350 for 30-35 minutes or until browned evenly. Cool completely for at least 1 hour.
Lift tart from pan and spread a layer of your filling of choice. I highly recommend the Dickinson brand or Joy the Baker’s curd.
Arrange your choices of fruits in desired pattern. Chill in fridge or serve!
Go forth, make a fruit tart, live long and prosper. You’ll be glad you did.